How To Stop Lying to Yourself

How many times did you say “I want” this week?

• I want to start waking up earlier

• I want to eat better

• I want to exercise more

• I want to quit smoking/drinking

• I want to find a better job

• I want to break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend 

• I want to learn a new skill

What did you actually do this week? Did you set your alarm earlier? Did you apply to new jobs? Did you do some push-ups? Did you set boundaries with your partner?

Here’s the thing — progress is hard because who we are is almost always in conflict with who we “want” to be. We fantasize about becoming a better, happier, more whole person, but when it comes to actually doing something about it?

Nah. 

The truth is, everyone always does exactly what they want 100% of the time. 

That means if you say “I want to quit my job,” but then you come home after work, get high, and don’t work on building new skills or applying to new positions, you’re fucking lying to yourself. You don’t want a new job. You want to dream big but stay in your comfort zone. 

Quote of the Week

“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” — Epictetus

If you truly want to change your behavior, you have to understand what motivates you. Why do you do things you hate? Why don’t you do what's good for you?

The answer is often in how you identify yourself and what you think you deserve. 

If your self-talk runs along the lines of “You need to wake up earlier you lazy piece of shit! You’re so lazy that you deserve to be broke!” then you’re never going to build a proper routine. Shame is a ball and chain. 

If you try to motivate yourself through harsh criticism and internal cruelty, you’ll only dig yourself further into a pit of despair. 

The real way to effect change in your life is to say, “You deserve a better life because you have so much more to give.” You need to detach your identity from the things inside you that you loathe, and affix your identity to the person you want to become. 

Question of the Week

What could you accomplish if you treated yourself the way you deserve to be treated — with love, respect, and honesty? 

Live On Purpose // Die Without Regrets

Each Wednesday, I publish a 3-5 minute newsletter + video podcast that applies ancient wisdom to modern life.
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