How To Enjoy Lonelinessby Chris Fritz
Last week, we talked about how gratitude is a superpower. This week, I want to talk about solitude (AKA loneliness). I’ve touched on loneliness before, but today, I want to dive deep into the benefits of being alone.
Many people hate being alone with their thoughts. That’s why we drink and get high, binge video games and shitty TV, doomscroll social media, and pack our schedules to the brim with pointless bullshit.
We’ll do anything to stay busy. We’ll do anything to avoid feeling alone.
Tech companies know this, and they feed it. We’ve become smartphone cyborgs and algorithm addicts, and it’s our own fault, because consuming bullshit is easy, but facing our flaws is hard.
When I’m alone and I let my mind wander, one of the first things I see is a highlight reel of my failures, and it hurts like hell.
I recall the fucked up things I’ve said and done during emotional moments
I recall friendships that have dissolved because I never made time for them
I recall past relationships and realize I wasn’t always the victim I thought I was
I recall dreams, plans, and goals that fell apart because I didn’t have the discipline to follow through
I recall awesome opportunities that I allowed to slip away because I was too distracted, too angry, too lazy, too depressed, or too scared to take a risk
In the past, I used to blame others for my failures and drink away the pain. Eventually, I found myself unemployed, disconnected from family and friends, and broke as fuck.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Quote of the Week
“Without great solitude, no serious work is possible.” — Pablo Picasso
Solitude Is The Beginning Of Growth
When my life fell apart in early 2019, I finally got the time and space to work on myself. I didn’t have a job to go to, people to hang out with, or money to spend, so I did the only thing I could think of: I Googled “I want to die” while I cried in my bed.
That was the beginning of a personal transformation. I discovered ancient philosophers from the East and the West. I started studying both religious and secular texts and found a current of truth that connects them all.
I realized that hating myself and complaining about my circumstances would never heal my wounds or bring me success
I discovered that joy is a choice, not a feeling
I discovered that neither human nor circumstance has power over my thoughts and actions
I discovered that Death could be waiting around any corner, and that Time is the most precious resource in the world
I discovered that Hell is a place on Earth that we build with our own choices
Without solitude, I never would have been able to engage in the deep introspection that allowed me to turn my life around from a spiral of darkness and depression into what it is now: a daily challenge that I have the privilege to overcome — after lots and lots of failure.
Solitude is a gift. Don’t waste it, or worse complain about it.
That’s where healing starts.
Question of the Week
How can you make room for solitude in your life?
Live On Purpose // Die Without Regrets
Each Wednesday, I publish a 3-5 minute newsletter + video podcast that applies ancient wisdom to modern life.
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